How to manage your ANGER effectively?

Anger is an erupted emotion that vents out to protect and cover ourselves, our point of view, our loved ones and other sensitive feelings. The feeling of anger is a normal and natural phenomenon but instant eruption of anger like a volcano can result in unnecessary heated arguments and can affect upon both your health and relationships. In order to maintain healthy body and cordial relationship, there is a need to effectively manage your anger and deal with it in a positive way.

You feel angry when you are:

• Insecure
• Frustrated
• Humiliated
• Rejected
• Hurt
• Scared
  These above feelings give rise to anger. So one can say that anger is the secondary feeling which arises out of above mentioned primary feelings and that are not immediately observed by the outsiders.

Situations that generally give rise to anger:

• When somebody honks from behind or cuts in a heavy traffic
• When somebody breaks the line while you are standing in queue
• Your child doesn’t listen to your advice or instructions
• You are taking a nap and there is loud noise in the next room
• Your senior scolds you in front of other colleagues
• Others get promoted but you, despite of the fact that you are equally good
• Somebody pushes you from behind in a congested public transport and other similar situations

The following anger management tips will help you in dealing with anger in a positive way, please consider these:

(1) Hold your reaction for the moment

​You know in a moment of heat we say those words or do those things which we regret later. When you stop yourself from instant reaction, you get a time to understand the gravity and seriousness of the real situation. After analyzing the situation, express your feelings in an assertive way but without any confrontation. If you feel that the situation is beyond control, then you can take help from others and involve them in solving problem. This activity of not reacting instantly will give you sufficient time and help you to manage your anger effectively.

(2) Always keep some spare time for yourself

Take short breaks in between your hectic schedule. These few quiet moments of time will relieve you from stress and tension. Tell yourself in these short breaks that:

• I will remain calm in unfavorable conditions and situations
• I will be stable and stay in my senses, if things didn’t work out as expected
• I will avoid any heated arguments or confrontation

These short intervals of break will prepare your mind to handle the difficult situations effectively and efficiently.

(3) The physical exercise relieves the stress

Physical exercise is one of the proven methods to vent out your anger effectively. The deep feeling of rejection, insecurity, humiliation and frustration increases the stress levels. Whenever this type of feeling intensify, involve yourself in physical activity like brisk walking, jogging, playing football, doing skipping, swimming etc. The erupting force of the negative feelings will vent out in the form of constructive physical activities.

(4) Shift your focus and look for the possibilities

​First feel and question yourself,” why I get angry and irritated ?”
When anything or activity does not happen as per your expectation, you get angry. Please, consider the following situations:

• Your son has not completed the homework
• Your spouse didn’t arrive on time for dinner
• Your guests are waiting for cake cutting on the your daughter’s birthday but your relatives are late

Any of the above situations can irritate you and you get angry, but sticking to this negative feeling will not serve any purpose. You have to find the solution to handle the situation and the manage your anger.
Look for possible reasons why your son’s homework is incomplete. He might find difficulty in understanding the subject or a topic.
You can tell your spouse that I am having my dinner and when you come, we will have a bowl of ice-cream together or something like that
You can offer your guests some snacks if your close relatives are on the way.
Another important thing to consider is that you should not blame or make others the reason of your anger like you say that the party is spoiled because of you. Try to focus on “I” instead on “you”; this will help you in finding the positive and constructive solution.

(5) Add the element of humor

You know that how tough is the situation or circumstance, but when you add humor, the intensity of the difficulty reduces and it helps in easing the situation. Try to practice adding humor in those unfavorable situations, but remember that it should not be sarcastic, which will help you in effective anger management.

(6) The last but not the least, do not keep any grudges just leave it and forgive

​Many unnecessary confrontations arise because neither party is ready to forgive other party’s mistake. One argument, another argument, third argument and so on makes the whole situation complex and complicated and this acts as a catalyst to escalate anger and further worsens the situation. Your one step to forgive the unintentional mistakes like a push from behind in a congested public transport or a small scratch in the car by another vehicle as there is huge traffic on the road  can end the confrontation then and there itself. Also, read good books, practice meditation and helping others will make you a better person in understanding the emotions of another person and you will able to handle and mange your anger very constructively.

Conclusion

The anger management is an art and which when practiced regularly, can make you an expert in dealing the feeling of anger positively.

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